Leaving your baby with someone new is one of the harder things about going back to work. Most nanny arrangements work out fine. But some don't — and the signs that something is off are not always obvious, especially in the first few weeks when you're still learning what "normal" looks like.
This is not a list designed to make you paranoid. It's a list to help you trust your instincts and know what's worth paying attention to versus what's just the adjustment period.
Signs worth taking seriously
Vague or inconsistent accounts of the day
When you come home and ask how the day went, you should be able to get a real answer. Not a detailed log, but something — "She had a short nap around 11, took 90ml at noon, was fussy for a bit around 3." If the answer is always "everything was fine" or "she slept, ate, no problems," that's worth noticing. Either the nanny isn't paying enough attention to tell you more, or something happened that she'd rather not mention.
The baby is frequently over-tired or underfed when you get home
A baby who hasn't napped properly and is falling asleep at 5pm, or one who seems to be hungrier than usual at the evening feed — this might just be a bad day. But if it happens regularly, it's worth looking at the feeding and nap logs more carefully and having a direct conversation about the schedule.
Unexplained marks or changes in behaviour
Babies bump themselves. They roll off surfaces, reach for things, fall over once they're mobile. Unexplained bruising or marks are not automatically sinister — but they do deserve an explanation. If you notice something and the explanation doesn't quite add up, take it seriously. Similarly, a baby who becomes visibly anxious or distressed when the nanny arrives — not just the normal fussiness of a separation — is worth watching.
The nanny becomes defensive when you ask questions
A nanny who is confident and has nothing to hide will generally answer questions calmly and directly. One who becomes upset, evasive, or turns your question back on you ("don't you trust me?") when you ask something reasonable is showing you something. The willingness to be checked up on is itself a sign of trustworthiness.
You feel like you can't ask certain things
If you've started editing what you say or avoiding certain topics because you don't want the nanny to get upset or leave — that's a problem. You're paying someone to look after your child. You should be able to ask anything about how the day went without managing their emotions first.
The routine you agreed on isn't being followed
You discussed a feeding schedule, a nap structure, a routine for tummy time or outdoor walks. If it's not happening, and the explanation is always different, this matters — not because the routine is sacred, but because it tells you whether instructions are being followed when you're not there to check.
Signs that are probably just adjustment
Not everything is a red flag. A few things that look concerning but often aren't:
- The baby cries more for the first week or two. A new face, a new smell, different handling — this is normal. Most babies settle within 2–3 weeks.
- The nanny does things slightly differently than you do. Different doesn't mean wrong. How she rocks the baby to sleep might not be your way, but if the baby settles, it's fine.
- She seems nervous at first. New job, new family, new baby. Some anxiety in week one is completely normal. What you're watching for is whether she stays nervous after she's settled in.
How to stay in the loop without being paranoid
Ask specific questions, not general ones
"How was your day?" gets a vague answer. "What time was the afternoon nap, and how long did it last?" gets you information. Get into the habit of asking specific questions. It's not interrogation — it's how you stay informed.
Drop in occasionally and unpredictably
If you can, come home for lunch once a week without announcing it in advance. Or ask a family member to check in. This isn't about catching anyone out — it's just a normal part of having someone in your home with your baby. Most nannies understand this.
Use an activity log
Apps like Cherish let the nanny log feeds, naps, and diaper changes during the day — by speaking, so there's no typing required. You can see the logs in real time from work. It doesn't replace trust, but it does mean you're not entirely relying on a verbal summary at the end of a 9-hour day. Gaps in the log, or times that don't add up, are also useful information.
Cherish
See what's happening at home — from wherever you are
Your nanny logs every feed, nap, and diaper change by voice. You get a real-time view of your baby's day from your phone. Simple enough that even a first-day nanny can use it.
See how it worksWhen to have a direct conversation
If something bothers you, say it. Most issues that end in a nanny being let go could have been caught and corrected in week two with a direct conversation. Tell her what you've noticed, what you expect, and give her a chance to respond. "I've noticed the afternoon feed is often late — can we make sure it's happening by 2pm?" is easy to say and easy to act on.
If the same issue recurs after you've raised it clearly, that tells you something different. At that point it's a judgment call about whether it's a fixable issue or a pattern that won't change.
When to end the arrangement
Some situations don't need a conversation — they need an immediate decision. These include:
- Any unexplained injury to your baby that the nanny can't or won't account for clearly
- Evidence that basic needs (feeding, changing) are being neglected
- A nanny who lies to you about something, even something small — if they'll lie about a small thing, you don't know what else they're not telling you
- Any situation that leaves you genuinely afraid for your baby's safety
In these cases, it's okay to end things quickly. You don't owe anyone a long notice period if your baby is at risk.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if my nanny is good with my baby?
A good sign is a baby who is calm and settled when you return, and a nanny who can tell you specifically what happened during the day. Watch also for whether your baby seems alert, clean, and well-fed, and whether the nanny engages with and talks to your baby rather than just supervising passively.
What are red flags to watch for with a nanny?
Vague or inconsistent accounts of the day, a baby who is frequently over-tired or underfed, unexplained marks, a nanny who becomes defensive when you ask questions, and a baby who seems distressed when the nanny arrives are all worth taking seriously.
Should I install a camera to monitor my nanny?
In India this is legally permitted in common areas of your home and is increasingly common. If you choose to, it's advisable to inform your nanny — both because it's fairer and because undisclosed cameras in private spaces can create legal complications. Many parents find that a combination of random drop-ins, specific questioning, and an activity-tracking app gives enough visibility without covert monitoring.